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Hello, My name is Amber D. Ritter. I am sixteen, and have been considerded by my community, as "The Teenage Prodigy". I have been writing poetry since the age of twelve, when I won the title, "Poet of the Year" by the Famous Poet's Society. I've won the title every year since 2001. I have also be awarded, Editor's Choice Award, by Poetry.com and The International Library of Poets in November 2003. Most of my writing varies, it can lean toward the lighter and darker ends of the spectrum. Im now looking to publish a book of my work, in hopes of following the path of my idol, Alexander Puskin.
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MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
- "Poet of the Year" 2001,2002,2003. Famous Poet's Society.
- Editor's Choice Award November 2003. Poetry.com/International Library of Poets.
- Published in my local paper, 3 times. 1. at 12, for Poet of the Year, 2. September 11th essay, and 3. War in Iraq essay.
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MY NEWS:
I've decided to come to this site, because..
I AM NOT A PUBLISHED WRITER.
Im looking for someone to publish me. It's a hard knock life for a Teenage Prodigy.
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MY FAVORITE LINKS:
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MY RESIDENCE INFO:
City: Lake Ariel/Mount Cobb
State/Country: Pennsylvania, USA
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BOOKS PUBLISHED:
These poems are dedicated, to each individual who invoked the emotions and words in me. Thank you, to all of you.
"Alone No More" - It Began With One..
She sits at home and wonders,
wonders if she will be here when morning breaks.
if her last breath is aready taken,
if her heart is not breaking,
she sits alone and wonders and ponders,
why such a thing has happen to her.
why her life has been cut short, before its begun.
every time the dawn breaks,
her life is being cut shorter like a string, right through.
her hair is grey and her face,
once beautiful now wrinkled and aged.
her clothes dirty and sweat drenched,
are all that is left of her.
she walks for hours a day without a care,
exccept that she does not know when the dawn
breaks her life will be one with the lord.
and no more will she feel the pain she,
once had when the days were short,
no more will she be alone.
alone... alone no more.
"An April Air" - Invoked by Me
When I came into the world, the cold April night was something I did not know, nor see. I did not even know myself for when your born a blank slate, you need someone, somebody, to chisle the marking upon it.
Every year, more was written, and every year, more seemed less. But just the same, I was molded from the April air. Once your hammer is rested, you can stand back to revise, to admire, to critique.
I laid my dark eyes upon it, and wanted nothing more than to scratch, with my bare hands, the stone of my insane existance. All I saw was chipped, unpolished, All I saw were lies, strew across every line.
Anger, passionate anger for the monument that they all admired. I saw it for what it was, I stood, abashed, yet no one concured but I. I boldly picked up the hammer, that lay rusted and unused, woke it from it's retired place. I began to write out the lines that I saw fit. Anger, resentment, all done, chilsed with the same passion in my heart, until it resembled what I wanted, what I saw. Broken pieces, wasted years, mortified lies. I molded it into what I once called my life. They all began to frown at what had started in the april night, so pure, so new, became disgraced, wreacked, distorted beyond all reason. Finally...after all the chaos in me had settled, I started to question what has been before. I hated it, becasue I hated myself, for no reason. I took the anger, the hatred that filled my life, out on someone not deserving. Rising anger, with rising fist, with rising hammer, crashing down in the name of someone I once had forgotten. As all the bits and peices come crumbling down, all the tears come rolling off a stone washed face. Turning away, with a heavy stone off my chest, holding the peices in one hand, walking with my hammer, clenched tightly in my fist. And I if no one else sensed, a fresh April air, beginning to blow.
"Ask Yourself" - Invoked by Me/Joe
Why is life so over baring,
to the point of no one caring?
Why does my life seem so bleak,
Why do I hide, unable to speak?
Why do all the good things seem to go away?
Why doesn't it change from day to day?
Why does the bad envelope my vision?
Why do greys and blacks show up in my prism?
Why do I always lose my mind,
Why do I lose my ties, my binds?
Why doesn't life just finally end?
Why doesn't it just try and mend?
Why am I asking all of these questions?
Is it because of my puzzling congestion?
Because I want to believe that hope is there,
because I want to have blue skies,
and put to rest all the angry lies?
You can do it, I know you can,
with or without someone's hand.
I believe in you to make it through.
please try my friend,
for me,
but all for the love of you.
"Caged Birds" - Invoked by Joe/Me
Oh why do you push me aside, why do you keep my heart in restraints,
away from the true love I know, and you.
you spoke to me of days of love, and lore.
you sang to me the praises of an undying love,
a caged bird, crying out the love that you spoke,
I repeat what you have said, like the bird I am.
but I did not know, that you too are a bird caged.
repeating the words of greater men.
men you wish you could stand before.
you stand below them, for you will not free me from the cage you forced me in.
you wish to make me miserable, as you are.
I question, what did I do to you?
did not I make you happy?
I may have been mocking you, in what you say.
But I meant it, insynce with your heart I thought.
I hope you find your way, I hope you pick the lock of your cage.
Not so you can be with me,
Just so you can free me,
For your the only one who can.
"December Glass" - Invoked by Me
Eyes painted on face of white,
glossy and cold, like the frosty winter night.
Lips are pulled striaght, no emotion to show.
Arms are still, no breathing or will.
Sit to stare, this little doll, left alone.
Alone in the dark, with neither a scuff or mark.
What she ponders, I do not know,
Sitting up there all alone.
Waiting for clouds to pass her by,
giving way to stormier days.
She does not blink,
she does not stir, just sits to wonder and wait.
Little doll of little girl, how long have you waited,
to fianlly be found?
Bones to show, and her mystery to grow,
when will they find you?
When will they know?
little girl, left all alone, dead in a corner.
Forgotten, fortold, eyes are painted,
On a face of white, glossy and cold,
like a frosty winter night.
No breathing, no talking, no laughs,
like a little girl, all carved out of glass.
Sleeping, waiting to be found.
Sitting alone, waiting in a corner, not making a sound.
"Dust" - Invoked by Joe
A book of, now believed, fairy tales,
I once had read,
Said that man had come,
was made of dust.
Made from the dust of the earth,
Then was conned into life,
by a wind, named simply,
Breath.
To look at you,
Inside, to out,
I wonder, and ponder,
What was of this dust,
that made you what you are?
Diamond Dust?..
You sparkle, and shine,
And are the most beautiful,
That I have seen these many days.
Most rare, and treasured,
King of that is lovely, and breath-taking.
Gold Dust?..
You've a wonderous luster,
Malleable, your face,
and your laughter, your emotions.
your hands around me,
Your lips against mine.
Ductile, though you can be,
And wrapped around my finger,
If I chose so to be.
Dust?
Yes, I'll admit,
At times, you are nothing but dust.
Ugly, and fickle bouncing off bodies,
settling on everything,
Just to be dragged away, so lightly.
As so you were, the luster,
The shine, the light, airy man I knew.
You became but dust to me,
I cry, and now you are not dust..
But a murky, grey, lifeless,
Love-Now-Gone, Mud.
"En-ding" - Invoked by "Dark Amber"
Entranced by fire,
Entrailed by blood,
Ensures his survival,
Endorses his name.
Enchanted are his children,
Endowed their playground,
Entwined with souls.
Envy their Masters,
Enzymes of Evil.
Ending now nearing,
Encoded lies,
Encased in lies,
Endure for this chance,
Enraged, ready for this battle.
Enjoined for this power they seek.
Ended.
Ended now, for he is the only light.
Enforces his power,
Enforces his word.
Enchanted By Desire,
Enjoys his games of betrayal,
Enjoys the screams.
Enclosed in an endless land of fire.
"Evolution of a Teenage Soul" - Invoked by Joe/Me
I knew when I saw you that day,
what was to come, the acts, to which
I would be part in commiting.
You, with your head, and mine with my own,
I knew our self-acclamied reasonings were different,
Although we thought we were seeking the same.
We were young, and we were driven,
by a hormonal masqurade.
Created by our daunting, older counter-parts,
to make us believe,
in lies we want to hear.
I knew when I saw you lying there,
in the darkness,
that this was real,
it was not merely words anymore.
It had evolved from words,
into a feeling,
soon to be action,
all at once, and all too fast.
an evolution of a teenage soul.
How fast it came,
was as fast as it went.
For as we know,
there is always a sperate but equal reaction.
Seperate they were, as I knew they'd be.
Venus and Mars, once again butt heads,
in a clash of reality,
none were truely ready for.
How out minds changed...
Once in limbo, they soar to a level of maturity,
that is as short-lived as it's glory.
Then they drop...like a wonded bird from the skys of curiosity,
Spiriling out of control until they hit hard facts once more.
I was 15, and you were 14.
In the minds of adults,
if only falsely for a moment.
Looking back to a night that now lives in vain to me,
I see nothing...
but a breaking tide,
from a raging sea of teenage emotions.
breaking it was, unto my heart,
the feelings were the same, yet all at once,
divided by our gender.
Sick it makes me, yet to relive it,
makes me quiver and think it to be special,
and to a point, it is,
To another point of authority,
it is not, it is
unacceptable.
inapproriate.
barred by age.
Age being a number,
calculations, remainders, factors,
can be wrong.
Im so undefined now,
I lived those moments in
adulthood,
yet live it now in
childhood.
I truely think that I did not understand,
the emotional, rational, numerical difference.
I'll always be torn by a night so long ago,
when I gave, what no one could take.
Makes me wonder, if he ever once...felt the same.
The Strange Evolution, of Two Teenage Souls.
"From Nothing" - Invoked by Me
From nothing, comes something,
something wonderful.
from something, came someone,
someone of a first, a new.
From someone came once more,
A somehting, something just as wonderful.
From nothing came that something.
From that somehting, came that someone.
That fave life a menaing,
A hope,
Never to be questioned.
From nothing came the world,
and from nothing went nothing,
But all the reason.
"How Can" - Invoked by Nature
How can the winter be so cruel,
to breath a frosty thrill into the earth,
cold and still.
How can the fall be so cruel,
to drop the colors from its boughs,
cascading wildly, sky to earth.
How can the spring be so cruel,
to melt away the winter frost.
giving it no reason for itself, so baring.
How can the summer be so cruel,
to breath a sizzling thrill into the earth,
so dry and deserted.
How can the seasons be so cruel,
but so silent,
no one notices,
that their coming,
is also a worry,
for they can be so cruel.
L.I.F.E: Life I Fought for Eagerly ( "Life" and Life ) - Invoked by Me
There's something about this life that's potent,
It seems, so unreal, so wrong, Intoxicating to me.
So binding, so boxed to me,
For me, all of me, I live in that box.
Windowless, to a better realm,
to a better frame, of onset mind.
Not talking all this time,
through this cataclysmic rhyme,
They wish to call "Life".
When do we speak,
When do we reach, that kind of peak?
"Life" is never simple,
and neither is the truth,
You know you've spoken all along,
Your voice to soft, to weak to hear,
"Life" won't listen, not this kind..not the one you've made.
No one will know, or can even tell,
When you cry out,
for a voice to save you.
Actions, do not always speak louder than words,
if, all a matter of how your heard.
Learn to listen, and learn to speak,
For "life" is toneless,
its voice, sometimes,
cannot, will not be heard,
Not even so much, as one single word.
But if you mange to get its attention,
call out in anger,
Life is mine, 'T'was given to me,
So now I will use what I was given, you see,
And call out my freedom,
From "Life's" chains and locks,
Never to be bound again, because today,
Today is mine, and so it fills my head, this rage,
I will not be forced into "Life's" cage,
So I sound out to you,
And hear me well,
I am being released from this childish hell,
I am my own, your cover is blown,
I know what for, and with this I free,
This is about me, and everything I love,
So, when it comes to push and shove,
I am stronger, Im not fooled by you.
Leave me be, or, set me free,
Because this is not my Life,
This is not me, for If it was, I wouldn't be caged,
I call to you, my disarranged Life, Stop your games,
Because I am smarter,
I can beat it, I can beat you at you little games,
but I will let myself go, show myself the door, free me,
It will be much more easier to free me, just to go,
Than to pursue you, and sink to your level, so very low.
"Minority vs Majority" - Invoked by My Family/Me
Things always come undone,
all the fights are never won.
Something in my head tells me,
this isn't how it should be.
Torn from one mintue to the next,
problems that aren't so complex.
I thought it would get better,
and I thought wrong.
Things are headed nowhere,
and before long,
Someone will hurt again,
just to show Majority,
what Minority will do.
To stop the chaos,
that bevels these lives,
Inside, someone cries,
for something to save the lost,
to bring us all back,
before the cost,
of hurting once more.
Some people have to be,
the ones who are delt an unpromising hand,
and I'm in the middle of No Man's Land.
I want out, I want to break free,
To be away from my family.
I want to help, I want to believe,
that peace is there, waiting for me.
I'll sit and wait,
Watch, and debate,
Until I make a stupid mistake.
To denounce all I've got,
Just to go, and save the lot.
"My Angel of Unspoken Name"
- To Matt, Thank You For the Final Inspiration.
Your name is the one, that slips off my tongue,
with a sweetness, Eden's Forbidden Fruit,
could not match, yet you tempt me just as if.
I trace your name into the stars, so that it may be whisked away,
to a God I pray...forever more, may this one name I say, stay with me.
That this one name, be the only name I carve,Into the door of this,
my soul, to forever be a testament, to the one, this name belongs.
I hear it carried on the wind, swiftly yes, on angel's wings.
It fills my head with heavenly dreams,
It fills my nose with sweet perfume,
It surrounds me, like arms around me.
My Angel of Unspoken Name.
You've eyes that put the breaking dawn to shame,
Blaze a brilliant, frosted, crystal azure that upon me,
Yes, burn me, brand me marking what is yours..
My heart, my life, my thoughts, yes, so I am willing, I am yours.
My heart, forever more you own.
You've a face that my eyes, not a minute, dare look away.
Snowy velvet, stained with the reddest wine,
That run over lips masked by fleshy roses of the same,
That I long to softly kiss,
Framed by plated, braided, flowing strands of gold.
You've hands of silk, how I long for them to caress me.
To run through my hair, like liquid passion.
To the same, that runs through my veins.
Hands that reach deeper than any other,
hands that touch my soul,
grab and stab at my heart, with orgasmic essence.
Shattering the silence,
I cannot stand it any longer,
I must, oh how I must call out to you,
To speak your name,
I need to hear your name fall from my lips,
Carry on the wind, on the seeds of dying dandelions,
To rid me of this, My insanity, my obsession,
to let my love, this love be known..
My chords wish to cry out to you,
They wish to shout to stars afar,
To escape my lucid mind, I shall let them Cry!
Cry the name so sweet!
Amanda..
My Love, Yes, Amanda, You...
My Angel of Unspoken Name.
"My Illusion of Time" - Invoked by My Grandmother
When I see nothing, among all things,
Nothing is something, I dread the most.
because when there's nothing, that means its gone,
and I would hate to think, of losing you.
Looking back, before there was Time,
I lived in a world, so secure of it.
I had you there, with no askings of you,
you were there, no matter,day or night.
I drew you pictures, you displayed so proudly,
I picked you flowers, that lived long after the petals had fallen.
I spent Saturdays, lazily on your couch,
watching cartoons, until Mommie said come home.
And we left each other, with sadden faces,
but, knew I'd be back, tommorrow morning.
I'd say bye bye, and hug you tight, I had to reach up,
very high, I gave you a kiss, and said I love you,
and walked my way home, in the dark, with you watching.
My Illusion of Time,
caught up with me, each year, more fading into Past.
Each year, less flowers were picked, and each year less time was spent.
I was too old, for sitting on your lap, to listen to stories,
and have milk on my chin.
Days seemed to pass, much faster everyday, and weeks became years,
so unfulfilled, now I see.
And Time, has once again, seeped in through the cracks,
and this time, with a little more permanent task.
And I see now, what I missed before,
I guess, you realized that people change,
from a tiny girl, to adult.
But that gave me no excuse to forget our past,
I might be too old, but I forgot,
That time is an Illusion, It didn't really matter.
And now, with Time sneaking,
It's time to relive, what I once forgot.
I'll go and pick you flowers, with so much more meaning,
I'll give you more hugs, and more kisses,
I'll spend more time thanking God, for the things I have.
And when it comes to pass,
and your peacefully gone,
I'll remember what we had, and wait for it once more.
you'll live in my heart long after the petals have fallen off.
"My Mother" - Invoked by My Mother
I have no complaints, yet, Im a child.
I have no regrets, yet I make mistakes
I have my life, yet I didn't have to be.
I have you, my mother, my mentor.
I have no regrets that you are.
I have no problems, you can't help me with,
I have no reason, to hate you for my creation.
so many memories I have with you,
so many nights to dream of you.
So many wants to be like you,
so many tears to cry for you.
So many hugs to reserve for you.
So many years to share with you.
so many stories to hear from you.
so many answers to ask of you.
so many occasions to be mad at you,
so many times to be happy for you.
so many miles to travel with you.
so many fights to fight with you.
You are my mother,
I love you dear,
and no one can contend,
with the love we share.
My mother, in me,
I can see, hopes,
of dreams, of success
for me.
My mother in me,
I want nothing more,
than to be half the mother,
to be half the friend,
you didn't have , but chose to be.
My mother in me,
Im happy, and honored,
to be your child.
to be of your blood,
to get all of your love.
"My Prize" - Invoked by Me
The base was hard,
and that branch to the left looked good.
If I could just reach the next,
I'd be one step closer.
As I reach the branch,
I see my prize awaiting me.
The sweet contagious sent,
and the red, fleshy,skin,
of the raspberries.
Only the reddest,
Most absolute juciest berries,
grow at the top,
inside the lush green leaves.
As I reach for the next branch,
of the old popalr tree,
I hear a crack,
Then a sudden snap.
Then I reazlie,
I am slowly recceding,
from my prize.
And suddenly I see,
I am on the hard packed earth again.
"No Sweeter Song" - Invoked by Joe
pretty in pink,
another heart sinks,
love is alive,
but not on his side.
a pretty face,
holds no place,
in his plastic face case.
a pretty face,
holds no place,
she's an anti-trust case.
his pretty face,
holds a place,
a face,
she's longs,
to embrace.
right down the middle,
his brain, his heart,
some sick riddle.
torn out and spit upon,
Hey, Satan has no sweeter song.
all his passion for her gone.
Hey, Satan has no sweeter song.
pretty in pink,
her heart sinks,
he's her missing link.
her love now merely,
paper and ink.
his love was merely,
some foregin drink.
sipping, and sipping,
drunkard, now it's gone.
Hey, Satan has no sweeter song.
"Lost For Reasons.." - Invoked by Me
I remember night's that I had sat alone,
lulling to a tune, I scare recognize,
to tantilize my inner child,
bathing in a memory, yet not seen, or forthcoming,
sulking with a future, known, and streched beyond it's hinderd walls
to paint a picture of a rusted tune, to hum the hyped rythm,
of a brush-stroked face.
reaching out to touch a star,
receeding a hand of smudy black pencil.
Daring to look back into the eyes of pain,
Fearing to look foward to the breathing of wonder.
What seems real, is what is lost, and unsure,
What seems fowl and forged, is what is known and found.
I remember nights, when I thought I was lost.
I remember the night's I believed in everyone's reasoning..
but my own, I remember the night's I sat puzzling,
Over a cup of multi-lingering questions.
To which I had no answer, No apparent comprehension,
Lost for words, and Lost for Time.
Lost in a world, I'm so behind.
What is reality?
What is reality?
What is reality?
Lulling to a tune..
What is reality?
What is Now?
What is?
"Rose of My December" - Invoked by Devon
Never will I forget, the Rose of my December,
Never will my mind, let forget, always to remember.
You pushed up through my ice, and snow,
As I sat there all alone, thinking thoughts,
I cannot, now stand with to measure,
Nothing in my barren, cold world, for pleasure.
As I sat, watched you curiously unfold,
Like a child listening to a tale, first newly told.
And those thoughts, ones that bound,
The ones that tangled all around,
That made me think, to put to and end,
This life that plauges me, that will not mend.
Were carried away, by the icy wind,
Somewhat releaving me, of a terrible sin.
And each time the darkness crept,
I sat there wishing too see you, and I wept.
These tears are warm against my face,
and drip, and desend down upon red lace,
down upon the snow.
They would not stop, still I cry,
even though I can see you, there by my side.
I fear, for a feeling, before never felt,
Is melting my icy interior,
and it shows me, this feeling is superior,
Never before have I felt this way,
Never before at all have I felt
You came to me, Rose of my December,
to remind me, to make me remember,
how grateful I am to be alive,
How I should always strive,
To see the light, in the darkest places,
To discover, all the hidden faces,
Not to give up, to never let go.
You pushed up through my ice and snow,
To show me how life can go on, can grow,
In the most impossible of places,
Like smiles, on my most gloomiest of faces.
So now I thank you, for the gift you've given me,
So sacred, so special, it is to me.
You saved me,
from me,
When no one else could.
You saved me, without knowing,
you saved me, without me owing,
Anything to you.
But, becasue of the feeling, I cannot hide,
The one I swore, I would keep locked inside,
I cannot help but to love you,
I cannot help but to need you,
I cannot help but to lead you,
To take you by the hand,
So together, we both can walk our burning sands,
Into happiness, smiling, yes, our promised land.
- To Devon
"Slowly Compose Insanity" - Invoked by Insanity
Compose..
Dispose..
Compose..
Dispose..
Compose a..
Dispose a..
Compose a..thought..
Dispose a..thought..
Compose a thought..of..
Dispose a thought..of..
Compose a thought of..reason..
Dispose a thought of..reason..
Compose a thought of reason..and..
Dispose a thought of reason..and..
Compose a thought of reason and..Dispose..
Dispose a thought of reason and..Compose..
Compose a thought of reason and Dispose of it..
Dispose a thought of reason and Compose of it..
Compose a thought of reason and Dispose of it..Poeticly..
Dispose a thought of reason and Compose of it..Poeticly..
Compose a thought of reason and Dispose of it poeticly please..
Dispose a thought of reason and Compose of it poeticly, the insanity.
"Stand" - Invoked by Our Brave Heros
Stand tall in your hour of prime,
Stand fearless in the eyes of others.
Stand for all who need you,
Stand for those who cannot stand for themselves.
Stand for Lady Liberty,
she'll guide you through the battle.
Stand for Father Time,
he'll help end the suffering hours.
Stand United for as one,
we are whole.
Through the good, better,
and worst of our lives travels.
"Stepping Stones" - Invoked by Mike
Stepping lightly, tip-toeing about,
For if I make a sudden move,
Hell will be there to greet me.
Life should not be like this,
So the first stepping stone is lain.
Stepping lightly,
For today,
A stranger greets me,
at my open door.
To my surprise, He seems like He cares,
Maybe I was wrong to think,
Lucifer had once again fallen to my door.
So, the second stepping stone is lain.
Stepping in bigger strides,
For now I see the rush of light,
That sweeps, and chases out Hell,
through my open door.
So, the third stepping stone is lain.
I think before I step today,
He's leaving,
Yet, the House of Hell,
has become the House of Normalcy.
Still I am fearful,
for his leaving,
And he stepped with me,
He stepped aside,
And I smile as I see,
We've lain stepping stones,
As far as my eye can see.
"The Apology" - Invoked by Leif
Today I reached inside myself,
forced a hand of sorrow into my guts,
and pulled, jerked out an apology,
Attached to my heart. I ripped out,
with this apology.
I reached inside, as deep, as my arm would carry
my hand, and surfaced an apology for you.
You, my dear friend,
Who without, I do not think my sanity would
be able to breath, you, in my darkest hour,
Asked for me, Asked for my name, to be
called, and taken off a list of mortallity.
Asked for my name, Asked for a reason,
Asked for a state of my Name for Reason.
You, my dearest friend,
Wished for my recovery, my safety,
my return, to be grabbed out of the
arms of death.
Wished for my health to be
as it was before.
Intact, and untorn, better than I had left it.
I reached inside myself today,
ripped out an apology for you,
I am sorry for the pain that I had thought
need to be. I am sorry for ever wanting to leave you.
this earth, alone absent for my presence.
my lungs never to inhale,
my eyes never to see,
my feet unable to stand.
my heart never to feel as it once did.
I see now to what I was blind,
I see now, how much I am needed,
and attached to you.
If I had ridden myself of the world,
my face, be erased in time,
that too would slip away,
and scars of generations would appear,
and each year, a wound would be ripped open,
and bleed, and bleed into months,
and slip away once more, only to resurface,
again, and again, forever haunting the ones
I chose to leave, under false thoughts
of, yes, no one loves me.
I reach a hand inside of me,
as far as my arm will carry,
pull and jerk out from me,
an apology, for you my friend,
my world,
for myself...
"The Lonely Fool Lover, of Mocking, Jealous Misery" - Invoked By Misery/Joe/Me
What is this? This drive within me, that controls me, my actions, my words it seems. It never will let me, be me, it let's me be the me I wish not to be. The one who hurts all the time, the one who has no way to express but to subcoinsciencely lie, She hurts the one's she loves, so they can be like her, so she can be like them. What is this demon inside of me? what does it want of me? I have nothing to give it, yet it seems I feed it. Or, more likely, it feeds off of me, my anger, my pain, my want of love for me. That's all I ever wanted, that's all I ever want, is love. I didn't care where, who, or how. Just love, a love I could trust, and feed, could grow, and shape itself not wanting, undying. It seems I've caused more problems..they root, and stem from me. I specify no more, from where I want this love I crave. In turn something inside me decided to create it's own A love of pain, anguish, misery. If misery loves company I must be misery's lover. And he must preach his love to me every second of my so daunted life. He must adore me, and tell me that I am beautiful, and that he wants to be with no one else. And he has raped me of everything. Fool Iam, fall for him, and think that I am happy, yet inside I cry, and long for a new embrace. And when I finally find, the kind of love I want, the man before, Misery, takes over and drives him away. He choses to speak out from me. to make it look, like I am to blame, that I am the one who drove him away. Im sick of loving you, Im sick of being a slave. I think Im ready for a divorce, Im ready, and with no more or less remorse. Now again, I only feel anger, for you chasing off my love. You were jealous, you had no reason, to make him leave from me. I'll make sure I silence you, I'll make sure you are no more, for I love that man who walked away, and there is nothing you can do. He actually made me feel, like love was something enjoyable, To unlike you, you made me feel, like love was something terrible. If I could have sensed your presence, before your vicious attack, I would have warned him, and told him, of your disgusting, disturbing essence. How could I have been so blind? How could I have missed those sings? how could I have done those things? And how could I have broken, your all to distant heart? I know the girl that he used to love, was always there inside, forced away by a lover, she did not want at all. Now she's overcome, and tamed the beast, of the heart of a lonely fool, and begins a walk of shame, to end in a house of a Dream. To ask her what does reside, in this house what moves inside, she'll smile a tear, and tell you dear, a place to confide, with a smile on face, with warm embrace, To lie down heavily, with a haunting, lifted grace.
"TheParadreamer" - Invoked by Max
with the passing and going of time
it all stands still there is no other
who shares my invision
but now I've found a light that shines
and it someday it will be, brighter than mine,
and carry me through
as I try and help the billions
who live in pain..and I'll be
there for him as well
for it started with two
and ends with all
the message will speard from both of our mouths,
and reach ears
then will come our victory
our mission will end.
"The River" - Invoked by my Aunt/Nature
Under a mellow sunset,
lies a river.
Twisting and bending,
with the curving of nature,
falling unmercifully to the rocks below,
it foams.
It gurgles a somber song.
Mother Nature,
Father Time,
made this child,
the parents of this beauty queen.
Being a follower to the sea,
As Moses led his people,
his followers to the sea,
to set them free,
of there captive life.
The River flows to the sea,
to be relived of its captive life.
The River, The People,
Chasing after dreams,
set free after so long.
It will make its final waltz,
but will never forget the boundaries,
of the river it once was.
Then It starts again.
Under a mellow sunset lies a river.
it moves with a dance like rhythm,
twisting and bending,
with the curving of nature.
"Throwing Stones" - Invoked by "Dark Amber"/Me
Lying on my back alone, throwing urgent, heavy stones, up into the sky,
letting fly to where I lie.
Up to miss, up to miss, trying to sabotage me, trying to hopefully miss me. Up to miss, up to miss,
Stones of worry, of madeness, stones of blackness. Wanting nothing more than to dodge the stones I throw, but why then throw them, I do not know. Up to miss, up to miss heavier and heavier the stones do get. Up to miss, up to miss still I throw them, unable to now avoid them. Up to hit, up to hit, I draw back my hand to cover my eyes, as I throw these heavy stones. Now the bruises begin to show, as I lie there all alone. Will now gone, stones now still, I've seemed to miss a blurry detail. So up into the air, another one sails. Up to miss, up to miss, I long for someone to understand this, my mingled emotions, these strange tides that run my ocean. For fun, or boredom, one can't tell, as I throw them, up sailing, to fall on me, baring. As I lie there, fate still dropping, comes a smile, plans Im plotting. With one final thrust, I let stone go, up into the air, so lightly it rose, Now decending, my fate still pending, closer it comes, battle almost won, I raise a hand into the air, and catch my fate in my hand again, waiting there.
"You Don't Care" - Invoked by Leif
lie to me, lie to me, yes fool i am, tell me you don't care 6 feet or more, no, you don't care, you never care.
looking through your smudgy eyes, penciled on, then laced with glamorous fake emotion,
I was there for you, I am still here for you, you don't care, my sleeve holds the true pain you hold,
forced in me, yes, you don't care. nothing here, nothing there, nothing anywhere, living in a world so unforgiving, black and white its painted out, unforeseen, for your not for looking, again, you don't care.
yet still your chords cry out from you, the sounds of letters, i never thought to be heard.
yes, you, you don't care. you look at me, i look at you, two different people, two different worlds,
so far apart, so distant in some far off gazing retrospect, but you don't care. you never care
lie to me, yes, lie to me, you long for your own way out, 6 feet or more, yes you don't care
my sleeve holds true to the pain you show, filling me with desperation, knowing i give no respiration.
if you decide, final for time,that you don't care. what will you chose, your bright array of human inventions, driven by superstitious, suspicious human intention? does it matter, no you don't care, your needing, your lacking, lacking in serving, the emotion so deserving, oh yes, you don't care.
you don't care, i believe it someway, you don't care, not even about me, yes, you don't care,
painted all in black and white, fine print, subliminal, minute, gone. you don't care, yes, your singing your score, over and over, drunkard of your own lethargic, paralytic sorrow, sip, sip sipping, yes, you don't care.
drink it up, while it lasts, 6 feet or more, yes, you don't care. let your so seemed nothing slip away,
let your lies be your disgusting, worn out alibi, the cop out for your weakness, I see your cover world,
you might not care, but someone does, I do, I always have, yes, Always will oh let me guess yes,...you don't care.
"He Paints" - Invoked by the Great Spirit
He paints the colors,
Earth and Sky,
From Her being,
Into the World,
Grey and Dark.
Unto the Sunset,
He gives the colors of her face.
Bleeding reds, vibrant blues,
Melting in a mellow sky.
Unto the Ground,
He gives the color of her skin.
leather worn brown,
smooth and soft like the coat of a fawn.
Unto the Night,
He gives the color of her hair.
Endless waterfall of blackness.
cascading over her shoulders.
Unto this new World,
He gives herself.
Strong and New,
Earth and Sky,
She thinks with passion,
Not seen in her eyes.
Mother Earth,
Father Time,
Spirit Above,
Create the Beauty,
Of Earth and Sky.
"The Blackness" - Invoked by "Dark Amber"
I walk along this blackend path
Blacker than the angry sky above me.
Feet as black as Raven's feather,
Waiting for a storm I cannot weather.
Shallow pools of rain begin to form,
The blackned earth begins to run,
Beneath my blackned feet.
My vacant eyes stare below,
As my rthymic walking begins to slow.
Do my eyes deceive me?
As my blacked feet, and blackend sky
begin to ache before my eyes.
Pools of red begin to grow,
The blackend earth begins to blush,
My blackned feet begin to swim.
Now to nearing, my aching,
My tearing, my blackend feet,
My blackend eyes, begin to see
the angry sky, the angry lies
the Blackness that I came to know,
I thought to be benign,
Was, in time,
blindness to all the signs.
Now the blackness, I thought to be me,
Is nothing more but mere memory.
"The Game of Life" - Invoked by Me
People say, life is a game,
It's win or lose for all.
It's a gamble from day to day.
But when games are played,
People lose, people lose it all.
People give up, they don't want to deal with it all.
It's time to get out.
To withdraw from the game.
Some people win, they win it all,
people carry on, they have success.
It's time to improve it, to perfect it,
To ponder about it, to brag about it.
To go on with the game.
Some people, they don't win or lose.
They Draw.
As in an game, you can have a draw.
People try to win,
They strive to win, but they don't lose,
Even if they want to, they draw.
They get a second chance.
I played the game,
I tried to win,
Ended up losing, but played again.
I tried to win, but I drew instead.
Life is kind of funny,
the miracles it works.
Just like every game has a loop hole.
My second chance,
I play to win.
I will win.
Becasue I know how.
"To Give" - Invoked by Me
To give away my heart,
Is to give someone love.
To give away my eyes,
Is to give someone sight.
To give away my money,
Is to give someone hope.
To give away my food,
Is to give someone life.
But, to give that life, how good it feels.
To give away my life,
Is to give someone pain.
To give away my soul,
Is to give someone grief.
To give away my dreams,
Is to give someone discouragement.
To give away my life,
Is to give away the world.
"Hey You" - Invoked by Me
Hey you, yea, you, the one who's looking back at me, who are you? nice to meet you? come here often? I've seen you before. your that girl who's always smiling and always has a joke to share, for some people, for who you care. I think your the one who has that extra set of senses, you can be as rational as a well spoken politician, or you can be as imature, as a boy in grade school. Don't you have a way with words? You can bring the most ignorant man to tears, and make the youngest child understand the world. You find the wonder in everything, atleast this is what I've heard, you can find hours of amusment, in making ripples through your straw in your cherry coke. You'd give the world to a stranger, you'd give your life for anything, as long as you were sure that it would benefit someone. you love the world around you, even if there are days it does not love you. although you do regret , for ever denying that you do. if it breaths the air you breath, it matters to you, and you make sure it's as happy as you. You can't stand around, while people are in need, you want to be out there, making your time their's. I do notice as before, you can be very aarogant, you can be very rude and mean, but you some how make up for it, even if only in your mind. I've watched you with your friends, how lucky they really are, to have, to know they have a friend, whose shoulder never ends, You see the things, the world has missed, how you do it, only you and god knows. you don't always achieve the metioned things, but you try and that's saying a lot, for there are many around you, who don't even give half a thought to anything. Then to hear, that hurt my ears, that had tried to end your life, how could you have even thought it? how could you have even done it? I didn't see that in you, I never saw it coming, maybe your strenghts are your weaknesses, as in you forgot what to do with the life you have, with all the wonderful gifts you've got. But looking now, I smile to see that your rising up in recovery, and it looks to me, even if you dont see, the person we all loved, will be better than she was ever, and it's exciting to know, and Im waiting to see, the purest thing I know, get 10x's better than it was before. I hope tomorrow you find another something, that makes you a better someone, So I'll see you tomorrow, same time, same place, same smile, same mirror, oh wait...hahah...I forgot, I'm looking, Im talking to me.
"The Sweetest Words" - Invoked by Joe
The sweetest words I've never heard, I had hoped to hear from you. But in the end, I've come to see, that your intentions weren't meant for me. I can't seem to find the reason, for the ultimate treason,
Nor can I find the way back, into your thoughts, into the person I came to love, those feelings seem to lack. The sweetest words I've never heard, I had hoped to hear from you. For it almost seemed to surface, and all at once, diminish. I see now, the signs that were thrown at me, Never to love again, I am destined to be lonely,. I did not want you to leave, for I thought that I had found the salvation for which I had been searching, but yet again, I comprehend Still in darkness, still lost for the feeling. Was it I who did not deliver? Was it you who was not a believer? To which question I wish to address, I do not know, nor Do I care.The sweetest words I've never heard, I had hoped to hear from you. Now I see, the words so sweet, are bitter on our tounges. All I seem to wish for now, is the peace I've never had. So maybe I could forget you, maybe I could let you go. Into my thoughts, hidden forever, but forever...forever is destined for tomorrow. The sweetest words, I've ever heard...have come from me, have gone to you. And yet those words still have no baring, I often hear the sound of you not caring, often hear the sound of my crying.
"If Only A Shadow"
If only a shadow,
tracking a man,
If only to see what,
Eyes see.
If only I could rise,
from below,
to linger on a word,
to touch a face of,
reason.
If only to die once,
if only,to breath after.
to taste a bittersweetness,
known as,
what?
Bless a life of what has.
Give me more, I pray.
Greed is a consumer,
and will eat among masses.
Rocking an emotion,
like a new born baby,
eyes half shut,
bright the light,
it hurts.
Show me what I want,
Tell me what I want,
tracking a,
man.
Shadow of old,
Now he lives in vain.
Amber D. Ritter
Copyright 2004
"Equals on a Whole"
You would pluck every star from the sky,
that litter gallantly above the whole.
You would cup every sunset in your hands,
That burns the earth, but leaves no scar.
You would bottle every lingering whippoorwill,
that rips across the shadowy moors.
You would suck up every bit of ocean,
that reaches its hands afar.
You would give this all to me.
You would drain the blackness from the universe,
And fill it with the greatest lights,
That you claim could only be found,
Inside the eye of perfect, they are mine.
You would snatch up a whirling cosmos,
And wrap me in its beauty,
But still you find the discouragement,
That to me, none else, it does not compare.
You would drop the Heavens all around me,
In hopes to find a place to keep me.
But sadly you see,
As you look at me,
That Heaven is dimmed to shame.
You would give me all the love,
That you could ever find.
And sadly you see,
as you look at me,
That you are not enough.
I see differently, on a whole.
I'll take the lot,
all the things,
you've worked so hard to please me.
Yet I would not think to keep them,
all intact, in their original states.
-----------------------------------------
If I flew them toward the sun,
And let them burn away,
The ashes would descend,
Down to where I stay.
And I would ask,
from the God I pray,
for one favor, just one alone.
Like Adam from so long before,
I ask of God, create man again.
Breath a breath into this body,
And make him live for me.
------------------------------------
Everything you could ever want to give me,
To make me happy, to please me so
Has already been given,
has already been provided..
All compressed into a soul.
placed inside a miracle,
Given God's eyes to see,
And given his heart to feel,
Wrapped up, addressed and sent,
Down to earth for me.
I open up to find..
It posses all the love,
that I've ever wanted for me.
It was more than beauty could describe,
It was to nothing I've ever seen.
And it was you.
Atleast I had thought,
Until I looked through, and through.
I know of how you feel for me.
I know what you think of me.
But still you refuse to openly see..
I look at you, and all I can see,
Is a mirror, perfectly reflecting me.
I am you,
And you are me,
Equally made,
equally given,
Equal on whole.
- Amber D. Ritter
2005
"If I am perfect..then YOU are my reflection."
"You are the only one who equals out to me."
"Journey of Gifts and Gifted"
- The Journey -
Journey on above the stars,
dance between the galaxies.
travel on, and on a far.
whisper back on high,
the tales of places you travel.
watch me from the cosmos,
and praise me for who I am.
tip toe around the moon,
and run across the seas,
do all the things you've ever dreamed of,
then come back and tell me.
tell me what heaven is made of.
tell me things I want to know.
make me understand the world,
give me knowledge, weighed with gold.
Find the truest love of all,
smell the greatest leaves of fall.
see above the trees so tall.
Do this all,
then come back and tell me.
-- The Gift --
Walk and life is what you'll think of,
Even though your mind now soars above,
life is what you'll think of.
Of all the gifts you've given,
You'll think about one above most.
You'll paint the pictures and you'll boast.
Because no one will ever out do you,
We both know in our hearts its true.
You will write the words no poet can capture,
Because we both know, its rapture.
Do all these things,
But you will never have to tell me.
You gave me life,
It's the greatest gift you've given,
A gift you've given me.
Tell me of the times you've had,
Tell me everything for good or bad.
Leave me with only a test of will,
And all the love I hold still.
I close a chapter I thought would be longer
Not in saying, your leaving for good.
Not in saying I understood.
Its saying in time I'll have the key,
To unlock the door between heaven and me.
Amber D. Ritter
To Allison..
"Never Had the Chance"
"R.I.P - Winston Taylor - 12-4-04"
A head full of incomplete lies,
the dreams you used to dream,
You dashed and smashed away.
You said that you were empty,
You said that it didn't matter,
Because next time, you wouldn't miss your chance.
But you never had the chance,
the dreams you used to dream.
Sitting back, I had to laugh,
at the "plight" you'd thought was yours.
You said that you were empty,
The dreams you used to dream.
I laugh at all your contradictions.
Although yes, I saw nothing,
but acid pools of blue,
staring at me while you,
talk away your life.
Only when you talk of,
your dreams you used to dream,
Did I see a spark of life,
I knew then,
those eyes once possessed.
I saw myself in you,
I did not want to be like you.
I knew that help was fashionably late,
Although there is nothing glamorous now.
The more I looked at you,
the more I broke down.
I did not want to be like you.
I did not want to live,
in the shadows of my dreams,
I wanted to chase the shadows away.
In my complied list of saviors,
You are ranked among them.
For if we never met,
Iam still not sure,
would I have had the power within to see,
To make this, my almost completed recovery?
I left you, on that April evening,
With a sadness in my heart.
I knew that nothing could save you.
You were a lost cause, such a shame I thought.
I gave you my number,
I gave my address,
I gave you my name,
in hopes of contact.
But months went by,
without letter or call.
They slipped away,
Afraid you had slipped,
with the passing months.
I never stopped thinking about you,
And I never left you out of a prayer.
I was always hoping someday,
A ring would reach my ear,
A letter to my hands,
Anything, something.
Some kind of knowing your still here.
Now it's December,
many months from April.
Still praying, wishing,
hoping for some alien response.
I woke up this morning,
Dragged myself out of sleep,
Getting dressed to hop a bus,
And my mother yells again to me.
Yelling at my closed bedroom door,
What was his name?
I told her with an eyebrow raised,
Hope within my heart.
What was his age?
She yelled once more,
thinking quickly, Gave her a reply.
A silence followed by an "Ohh.."
I don't really know happened,
A newscaster struck me with reality.
A teen is killed, a curving road,
had skidded into a tree.
I heard you name,
And softly said,
"No god, why, please no"
I felt my face begin to burn,
and the tears came soon after.
Standing in my living room,
Struck by something,
guilt, pain, anguish,
Insanity maybe.
Never had a chance.
Never had a chance to say good-bye,
Never a chance to just say Hi,
Never had, and I know now sadly,
Never will I have it.
I'm burning with anger,
April wasn't long ago.
I knew that help, wouldn't.
But he could have changed,
I've no way of knowing,
He could of had better,
I've no way of knowing.
But he never had the chance..
Damnit, he never had the chance.
To change his life,
To live his life,
He didn't get the time too.
Was this some sick,
prick's trick by God?
Or is it really Destiny?
Did he feel the need,
to end that life abruptly.
Did he see, he had no chance?
To live the dreams he used to dream?
Was a sympatheic God, doing him a favor?
If those who chose to kill themselves,
Really go to Hell,
Then I ask, If God was doing,
My long lost friend a favor.
Knowing he had suffered so much,
Why must he suffer more?
He brought him there,
So he could see,
how good life really can be.
I just pray now, he's happy, and healthy,
And that I see him again one day.
I hope his eyes of blue,
Blaze vibrant again, laced satisfaction,
I hope he's dreaming all his dreams,
Making them come true.
I hope he's looking down on me,
To help me through the battle,
To help me through his death.
For I missed you then,
I miss you now,
Yet, I am waiting on you again.
I might not get an envelope,
I may not hear your voice,
When I look up, on a starry night,
I'll know your there, just watching me.
I finally got your call.
I hope someday I'll get to visit,
The town where you used to live,
I hope I get to see, the school you used to attend
I hope I'll get to meet, some of your friends,
And maybe your family.
But most of all, I hope someday,
I'll come visit You.
If just, I sit and chat,
with a flat, cold tombstone.
I just want to say good bye,
Let you know Im here,
That Im ok, that I've been waiting.
We Never Had the Chance.
Amber D. Ritter
2004
"My Angel of Unspoken Name"
- To Matt, Thank You For the Final Inspiration.
Your name is the one, that slips off my tongue,
with a sweetness, Eden's Forbidden Fruit,
could not match, yet you tempt me just as if.
I trace your name into the stars, so that it may be whisked away,
to a God I pray...forever more, may this one name I say, stay with me.
That this one name, be the only name I carve,Into the door of this,
my soul, to forever be a testament, to the one, this name belongs.
I hear it carried on the wind, swiftly yes, on angel's wings.
It fills my head with heavenly dreams,
It fills my nose with sweet perfume,
It surrounds me, like arms around me.
My Angel of Unspoken Name.
You've eyes that put the breaking dawn to shame,
Blaze a brilliant, frosted, crystal azure that upon me,
Yes, burn me, brand me marking what is yours..
My heart, my life, my thoughts, yes, so I am willing, I am yours.
My heart, forever more you own.
You've a face that my eyes, not a minute, dare look away.
Snowy velvet, stained with the reddest wine,
That run over lips masked by fleshy roses of the same,
That I long to softly kiss,
Framed by plated, braided, flowing strands of gold.
You've hands of silk, how I long for them to caress me.
To run through my hair, like liquid passion.
To the same, that runs through my veins.
Hands that reach deeper than any other,
hands that touch my soul,
grab and stab at my heart, with orgasmic essence.
Shattering the silence,
I cannot stand it any longer,
I must, oh how I must call out to you,
To speak your name,
I need to hear your name fall from my lips,
Carry on the wind, on the seeds of dying dandelions,
To rid me of this, My insanity, my obsession,
to let my love, this love be known..
My chords wish to cry out to you,
They wish to shout to stars afar,
To escape my lucid mind, I shall let them Cry!
Cry the name so sweet!
Amanda..
My Love, Yes, Amanda, You...
My Angel of Unspoken Name.
- ADR, 2004 -
"Outdrink the Ratfink"
eye blink,
fruit drink,
hard drink,
I think, mixed drink,
rethink, soft drink,
catch a wink,
data link,
interlink to kitchen sink,
marking ink for missing link,
on the brink,
outdrink the ratfink,
I think, misthink,
rethink, outdrink
suicide.
Amber D. Ritter
2005
"The Night Can't Remember Anything"
She's smokin her ciggarette,
watching the night,
steal the life from both of them.
The smoke is rising,
up into the atmosphere,
and she's passing time.
Neon lights silluette her figure,
red lipstick and cut off jeans.
watching the seams steal the life out of her.
She can't remember how many she's lit up.
And the night can't remember anything.
The night can't remember anything.
Standing under a streetlight,
as if waiting,
for some crude rescuer to form.
From the clouds that billow out of her dirty mouth.
Waiting, for some rescuerer,
to come and steal the life out of the night.
But the night can't remember anything.
Waiting,
The night can't remember anything.
a varlet on the street.
Nothing will come for her.
Because night can't remember anything.
Copyright 2005
Amber Diane Ritter
"The Star Tracer"
Write a name into the stars,
write anyone you wish.
You have no purpose to expect anything,
For your not writing without vain.
Pick a name, any name you'd like.
Write it in the stars,
And the gods will wisk it away.
I wrote his name into the stars,
I could have chosen any name I like,
Yet I chose his, above them all.
I wrote your name into the stars,
traced each letter,
with a solemn vow,
no man, nor beast,
nor even gods,
could ever wisk,
even one letter,
of that name away.
I wrote your name into the stars,
And it will stay forever,
in the blackness of night.
Each line ending on the brightest stars,
moonlight casting your name to earth.
Let the world see what I see,
Let the world know what I believe in.
My voice could never carry,
The meaning this one name holds.
So I wrote it in the stars.
Where my voice is lifted,
to the highest mountains,
and the lowest valleys,
farther than heaven could ever reach,
farther down than the depths of hell.
It rings more clear,
than the eldest chapel bells,
That ring on every stroke of hour.
I say all these things, but still you ask:
Why can no man, nor beast or god,
wipe away this name you speak?
I wrote his name into the stars,
And I wrote his name upon my heart.
It will not shake, or fall,
It will not move or budge.
They cannot wisk it all away,
Because I wrote with it, my heart,
And that cannot be wisked away,
by any man, beast, not even gods.
For it already has been taken away,
By the man to whom it belongs
Amber D. Ritter - 2005
- to Devon
Your Gonna Burn Me
comming up to fast, never watch the mirrros,
just missing the point.
your racing and racing, tryin to out race me.
But I'm not racing, I'm just catching up.
your going to fast, and I'm fallin' behind.
you don't care, your gonna burn me again.
watching the horizon, tryin to catch it,
but all you catch is another fool.
burning up the turf,
I'm gonna get burned again.
Speedin into a nothing of a night,
headlights blazing,
checking your mirrors,
and there I am.
Your gonna burn me again.
Racing through the night,
everything is passing by,
blurs in a sea of black grease paint.
Blow this fish outta the water,
I'm gonna pass you out,
try and make out that blur,
like a bug smashed to your windshield,
I'm gonna streak your eyes,
Running on the devil's fire now!
Checked paradise,
I can see it now,
whiplash, flagpole
I stole it all.
stealing the breath outta the night,
your stealth is nothin' now.
I sit back and laugh,
your gonna burn who?
Your not gonna burn me.
I burn you.
Amber Diane Ritter
"Like Fire"
Like fire frames,
a window pane,
my love for you,
frames my heart,
Like chaos frames,
the most insane.
Like gold frames,
a pretty face,
atop an elder fireplace,
my love for you,
frames my heart,
Like stitching frames,
her dress with lace.
Like Fire..
The fire that frames,
The window pane,
The Chaos that frames,
the most insane.
The fire that frames the pane,
burns the window to my soul.
The chaos that frames the most insane,
I, my dear, for you, am the most insane.
You are the Fire,
And the Chaos.
The pretty Face,
atop the fireplace,
The glowing mantel,
of my life, yes.
Like fire frames,
A window pane,
You my love,
frame my life,
with your own,
Just the same.
Paradise is beautiful.
Yes...
Like Fire.
Amber D. Ritter
2005
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These are Articals, and Lyrics I've written.
Diseases
Everyday, all over the world, people are dying of cancer, malnutrition, many, many diseases and problems.
We try to raise money for all these great causes, to try and find a cure.
In actuality, there are diseases in this world, that we need not raise money for, that we, as a whole people need to find a cure. These diseases spread like wild fire, EVERYDAY. Every second, where we can, and cannot see. And we are all affected, or have been at one time.
I am talking of diseases like Hate, and Prejudice, Discrimination, Ignorance.
We are all a victim of there horrible symptoms, and we all have spread them, in more ways, more times than one. I have tried to vaccinate myself of them, but have come to find out...It is harder than I believe it to be. I find out, that the next man is ridden with the sickness, and shows no signs of healing. We cannot fully heal it, becasue they all interact with each other. We are too Ignorant, to recognize we are infected, and then if we do, our first reaction, is Hatred, for the world around us. If you reach out of these diseases, you look at others, and you look down on them, and reject them, for there foolish, yet really, innocent mistake. Now your infected with Prejudice and Discrimination.
I ask of you, not to show your symptoms toward me, thinking, I do not care about the killers, like cancer, or MS, or any other. I do care, very greatly, but No one seems to notice the above mentioned. So, I will make the general public aware of these deadly nucences, before they strike again. Yet..Even as you are reading this..a child dies in her abusive home, and a man guns down another becasue his skin is darker or lighter, and a homeless man is dead because no one would take him in, or even throw him a dollar. We need to rise, and find a cure for these, more than ever..because they kill and injure someone, somewhere, right now..every second, and every second we waste, is another life wasted...for nothing, for something we can help, and avoid. I ask of you, today...to sit back and think of all the times you've blown your top, or you've rejected someone, or did or didn't do something. You can connect it all back to this infection. Try, even if just today, to fight your symptoms, and do something nice for someone you love, or care about, or even to a stranger. Just tell someone you love them. Help that old man with his groceries...anything...to start the vaccine that will save the world.
I am not promising world peace, to end world hunger...I promise that you will rid yourself of this, if you just try and fight it. Then, inturn, everyone you meet, you'll have that positive effect on. I believe you can replace these feelings with less stronger, appropriate ones. I always say in my head, and to others at times, I do not hate anyone, I may dislike him/or her, but I do not hate. Disliking someone, is normal, because if you know your better, to dislike, is to dislike the sickness of the other person. You see? It's smiple, yet complex. But, I believe it can be over come. If you disagree...you have a right to your opinion, just as I...So, I will end with mine. If you disagree with me, you've a bad case of Ignorance.
Perception of Heaven and Hell
One's perception, is always differnt from anothers. its a proven fact, it can be seen in simple things, such as, the glass is half empty, or its half full. perception of the world is a vey big and very unlimited possiblilty. some may say the world is in runis, some may say its better than it ever has been, some will say it hasen't changed. but, one thing I've noticed, is that there is one subject for which I seldom see any moderation in opinion. Heaven and Hell. A very delicate subject, as the way it should be. but just because its delicate, does not mean it can't be tamperd with. Ask anyone around you. Hell is a place of fire and brimstone, demons and pools of lava flames lick every endless acre. Ask anyone, this is an almost exact replica of there reply. Again, Heaven. A place thats amoung the clouds, silver linnings, golden light, angels fly, peraly gates. Ask anyone, this is an almost exact replica of what there relpy will be. If people perceve things differently, why do we all agree on this? Why? is it becasue its what has been drilled into our minds since our childhood? or, is it, becasue people fear it all. when we fear, do we question? No. we let it seep into our brains what other people make us believe. Fear, one may ask, why would one fear Heaven? A place of everlasting light? the answer, simple. the Unknown. People fear things we cannot see, or feel. although people may see "angels" and people have faith, many are still skeptics in there own right. Skepticism is fearing in it's simplelist form. Hell, people fear Hell. Yet, I do not understand why they do. My perception though, is different, like I have been trying to stress. People do not want to burn within the bowls of the earth forever, being tortured and forced into slavery by an almighty evil. People want the world they had known to follow them into the afterlife. Then, who is to say that this is what Heaven and Hell are like? People have been made to believe that Heaven is good, Hell is bad. How do we know? No one has ever been there, and back to relay to us the consituants. Yes, people have "near-death experiances" but, how do we know what's fairy tale, and what is reality? People can be excellent liars, its part of human nature. I am under strick belief that I cannot make a decision about either place, until I have actually either achivied enlightenment, or pass on. Unforturnately, you can only depart to one place, if there even is a place, so how would one know what is paradise, and what is dimise? There is no way. After death, one could be forgotten, one could go to Heaven, or to Hell, or wherever one believes their soul goes.
Still, after all I have said, I still make my own assumption as to where I will go after I die. I believe in my own revelation, that people go wherever they think they would deserve, or want, to go. I, myself too believe that, if one exsists, all go to heaven, because the world is Hell. Everything that is said to reside in Hell, is already present on earth. Or, in another point of view, There is no such thing as Heaven or Hell. It's just a stroy told to rasie hopes, and scare children. We could just float in limbo on the earth for all times. So, I have ave you some reasons to rethink your preception. you need to break free of what you've been told, and make your own beliefs. Heaven and Hell, could be only places of myth. but, how do I know? I don't..it's just my perception.
"Consulting the Blade"
Wishin' for ink that don't bleed,
Writin' out my suicide.
Tears washin' my words away.
Wishin' for a body that don't bleed,
Sittin' here, I cut myself.
Blood washin' my pain away.
God live in vain,
aside the pain.
wishin' for a life that never fades,
everytime I consult the blade.
Wishin in my left hand
Bleedin' in my right.
see which one dulls the pain.
Yeah, knife cuttin my vein.
Bleedin' and Wishin'
For a past I didn't claim,
This is how I get my fame,
This is how I play the game.
This is how I wash away,
This past of pain,
Who want's to take blame?
Shoutin' to the sky,
for the reason why,
Always the same sweet song!
Everything I had is gone!
Darkness comes before the dawn.
God live in vain,
inside my world is pain
wishin' for a life that never fades,
everytime I consult the blade.
Wishin in my left hand
Bleedin' in my right.
see which one dulls the pain.
Yeah, life rushin' outta my veins.
Darkness comes before the Dawn,
While I'm lyin'..bleedin' on my lawn.
Give me something to believe in,
Yeah, Before I reject my sin.
Watchin' life pour out my vein,
Close my eyes..
Lettin' my body drain.
"Blue, Blue Waves"
Ive got to give my soul a shock,
of electric, blue, blue waves,
I've got to give my eyes a chance,
to adjust to this new change, change change.
My body can't just handle the heat,
from you lookin at me with that,
blue blue gaze.
I just can't see through this,
haze, haze haze.
Let the fire,
blaze, blaze blaze,
ooh, the shock of those blue, blue waves,
our hearts are just a
cruel, cruel maze.
Crazy maze, of blueish haze,
burning me, your blue, blue gaze,
hurting me, your blue, blue, gaze.
calling me through a stage haze, haze, haze.
Ive got to give my soul,
a shock of electric blue, blue waves,
I've got to give my eyes a chance,
to adjust to this new change, change change.
oooh baby,
( blue, blue gaze)
c'mon darlin!
( through the, haze, haze haze )
Damn you and your
( blue, blue waves )
Damn you and your
* fading out*
( cruel, cruel ways )
( blue blue gaze )
( misty haze, blaze blaze blaze )
** These songs are copyrighted, and written for my little brother's band. **
*** DONT TAKE THEM!!! ***
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