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Place your ad here for only $15.00! Reach thousands of writers and visitors! CLICK HERE
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Hello, my name is Matthew Prangley. I am 29 years old and live in Cardiff, the Capital City of Wales. I am employed as a Contracts Manager for a Recruitment agency - a job that brings me in to contact with all sorts of interesting people.
I have never had any of my poetry published, largely due to the fact that ive never entered any competitions or tried to get it published.
I write humorous poems about people, their experiences etc.
As you will see from my poems below, they are light hearted, funny, sometimes retrospective accounts of my experience with people I have had the pleasure of knowing.
As an unpublished author I would be very grateful of any advice on how to get exposure for my work.
Likewise, if you are looking for humorous poetry for a forthcoming project, please give me a chance.
I can be contacted at matthew_prangley@yahoo.co.uk
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MY NEWS:
Currently waiting for Interested publishers to contact me.
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MY RESIDENCE INFO:
City: Cardiff
State/Country: South Wales UK
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BOOKS PUBLISHED:
Painful Goodbye – Matt Prangley
During my time with Jentec Ive written many rhymes
About Weddings, Birthdays and Divorces, mostly happy times
But as I sat and wrote this, thinking of ideas
I knew that reminiscing about our Disco Dave would leave us all in tears
I doubt there will be another, a man so well respected
Who made all of those who worked for him feel safe and so protected
And as we gather here tonight IM sure a few of us will cry
As JGR and Jentec staff all know this is the most painful goodbye
But although this is a sad night
One we have approached with trepidation
Let’s remember all the good times and let’s have a celebration
Let me take you on a journey through times both far and near
And pay tribute to a legend and his JGR career
Dave arrived in ’96 looking smart in a two piece suit
And was introduced to Pascoe George and man obsessed with using recruit
Was introduced to clients from companies small and large
And soon became best friends with Loreals finest the lovely Marge
He soon was filling bookings; the work came through in masses
He had a special relationship with many clients especially the lasses
Maximising business, opportunities he’d never miss
And was always excited by the visits of Valeos lovely Val Ellis
The court road offices were Cosi, had a cooker and a fire
But it soon became quite clear they were too small to house Dave’s vast empire
A change of office was needed to compete against the industry’s elite
So he took his team and set up camp at 60 Nolton Street
Around this time it was noted there was a significant reduction
In the need for engineering temps but there was a boom within production
The court road office seemed miles away its panoramic views and lovely trees
Had been replaced by scruffy proddies and endless hours in factories.
When I arrived at jentec the year was 2001
I worked alongside a consultant called Karen and I think she had a gun
She was waiting to use it on our Dave; he used to tell her she should eat fruit
And she threatened to beat his face in if he didn’t update recruit
Soon after I started I realised Dave was Dapper into Fashion
But there was one particular company for which Dave had absolutely no passion
One day in a business meeting, he sat down and he told me
That he hated a factory in Pencoed that had manufactured his TV.
He didn’t like the proddies; he called them the unclean
Dave was from the old school being straight not being mean
He gave me the industrial work, passed over the reins
And concentrated on technical where there were higher financial gains
It was actually in 2002, that Dave decided to say
That he had considered retiring and spending more time on holiday
But he couldn’t leave the office they were used to his working ways
So he soften the blow by staying but only working for two days
So Dave was semi retired and working sixteen hours
In between favours for ladies, cutting grass and planting flowers
Helping in the office, filling bookings, motivating the crew
And lending his technical expertise to Sandra, Lisa and Andrew
As time went by we noticed that Dave was getting stressed
As he couldn’t decide to go Jamaica or the Bahamas – what was best?
And those who were most close to him all started to agree
That he was losing his marbles one day when he went home at half past three.
Although the part time working hours gave Dave a lot of fun
He was increasingly drawn to the easy life far away and in the sun
And of course the wife was saying there are things in the house you need to mend
He decided in May 2004 that his working life would end.
So now what is he gonna do when he wakes up and he is yawning
IM sure he will miss the beautiful Sandra Larcombe in the morning
He’s leaving life in the fast lane being busy - got to go
For a life of Afternoon tea, Saga holidays and Bingo
So what will he be remembered for?
Of course his love for Sony
And getting confuse when he’s on the phone talking to Paul who he thought was Tony
Making Coffee in the morning, commanding much respect
And embracing all kinds of folk – he was most politically correct.
So Dave before you leave us and retire to your Laleston mansion
We would all like to thank you for your part in our expansion
Enjoy life in the sunshine live everyday to the full
There will never be another one like you, you are irreplaceable.
The End
HOW OLD? BY MATT PRANGLEY
THE RECEPTION DESK IN JGR IS WHERE SHE SPENDS HER DAY
MAKING THE CANDIDATES FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH HER VERY CARING WAY
AND WHEN THE GENTLEMAN ARRIVE SHES ACCUSED OF BEING FLIRTY
AN NO-ONE EVER BELIEVES US WHEN WE TELL THEM SHE IS THIRTY
THIS WEEK SHE HAS BEEN QUIET SHES PONDERED AND REFLECTED
ABOUT HER POOR OLD LIVER AND THE WAY ITS BEEN NEGLECTED
FOR FITEEN YEARS SHE TOOK NO ADVICE, THOUGHT SHE WAS BIG AND CLEVER
AND IGNORED THE WARNINGS ABOUT ALCOHOL WITH HER FAVOURITE WORD – WAREVA
FIONA IS SOMETIMES WITHDRAWN A BIT OF A MYSTERY
AND WITH THIS RHYME ILL EXPLODE THE MYTH AND EXPLAIN HER HISTORY
IN ORDER TO EXPOSE THE TRUTH AND GET OUR MONEYS WORTH
ILL TAKE YOU BACK TO 1973 THE YEAR OF FOINAS BIRTH
CONTRACTION PAIN CAME LIKE A BOLT AND CAUGHT FIONAS MUM UNAWARES
SHE HAD TROUBLE RUNNING TO THE PHONE COS SHE WAS WEARING MASSIVE FLARES
THE AMBULANCE SPED THROUGH THE STREETS TRANSPORTING PARENTS LOOKING EAGER
AS THEY ARRIVED AT THE MATERNITY SECTION OF THE HOSPITAL IN TREDEGAR
DISSINFECTED CORRIDOORS + EQUUIPMENT SET THE SCENE
GAS AND AIR AND STIRRUPS WERE THERE - THE LADIES KNOW WHAT I MEAN
A GENTLE PUSH A BIT OF PAIN AND HELP FROM THE MIDWIFE
BEAUTIFUL FIONA HARRIS WAS BORN AND STARTED OUT HER LIFE
SHE SPENT HER YOUTHFUL SUMMER DAYS GETTING CHOCOLATE AND DRINKS FROM HER FRIDGE
TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE GLORIOUS CLIMATE ASSOCIATED WITH NEWBRIDGE
LISTENING TO THE 80’S TUNES AND WEARING HER BEST FROCK TO THE SUMMER BALL
UNTIL HER FAMILY MOVED TO THE SEASIDE TOWN KNOWN TO US IT PORTHCAWL
HER FIRST JOB CAME IN A NURSERY LOOKING AFTER KIDS
PUTTING UP WITH TANTRUMS, TEARS AND CHANGING NAPPIES FULL OF SKIDS
BUT AFTER A WHILE SHE BECAME BORED AND FOUND IT DIFFICULT TO UNWIND
SHE DECIDED TO GIVE HER NOTICE IN AND LEAVE THE SCREAMING BRATS BEHIND
AT FIRST SHE BECAME QUITE UNSURE OF WHAT SHE WANTED TO BE
SO SHE STROLLED DOWN TO JGR AND DROPPED IN A COPY OF HER C.V.
JULIE AND JILL WERE SO IMPRESSED THAT 20 MINUTES LATER
THEY OFFERED HER A FULL TIME JOB AND SHE BECAME THE BRANCH ADMINISTRATOR
ALL THROUGH HER LIFE SHES LIKED A DRINK – IT WAS AN EIGHTIES TREND
THE QUIET LIFE IS NOT FOR HER SHE WOULD MUCH RATHER SPEND
HER NIGHTS WITHIN THE PUBS AND BARS - WITH A NEVER EMPTY GLASS
DANCING ON THE TABLE AND SHOWING BLOKES HER………………………
(STAMP COLLECTION AND ORNAMENTS FROM THE VARIOUS COUNTRIES SHE HAS VISITED)
WE THOUGHT THAT AS SHE GOT OLDER SHED PREFER A LAID BACK LIFE
BUT SHE RECENTLY MOVED TO LALLESTON AND STARTED TO CAUSE STRIFE
SHES LIVING WITH A GIRL CALLED MO AND THEY ARE MAKING HELL OF A RACKET
THAT’S FORCED THE NEIGHBOURS TO DECIDE THEY ARE IN THE ALCOHOLIC BRACKET
SHE CAME TO WORK THIS MORNING TO A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS AND A SINGLE ROSE
AND BY THE TIME 9.35 ARRIVED SHE HAD HER HANDS ON A FIREMANS HOSE
WHEN SHE WENT TO BED LAST NIGHT AND DREW THE CURTAINS, CHECKED THE PELMET
SHE NEVER EXPECTED TO BE IN THE OFFICE POLISHING A FIREMANS HELMET
SO NOW WE ARE AT THE PRESENT DAY + EVERYBODY FEELS
THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO CELEBRATE, 2 FOR 1 WITHIN O’NEILLS
AND NOW MAY I PROPOSE A TOAST IVE GOT MY BEER, YOU MAY HAVE WINE
RAISE YOUR GLASS AND SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
YOU MAY BE THIRTY BUT YOUR LOOKING MIGHTY FINE
THE END
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“See you then” – Written and Produced by Matthew Prangley
In August 2002 I had something on my mind
As two Cosi Co-ordinators had left and I had two more to find
I appointed Nerys Davies she was bubbly full of fun
Then scratched my head and worried about where I found another one
I strolled downstairs to JGR and begged and said to them please
Can you help me find a Co-ordinator from your selection of C.v.s
The Initial search gave me no luck but then answering my wish
They said “this ladies good shes called Elizabeth but you can call her Tish
At first we werent too sure and put it to the vote
But all agreed to see her she was the auntie of sicknote
I thanked JGR for their assistance, walked away and started to sing
And arrived in the comfort of my desk and decided to give her a ring
I made the telephone call, the interview arranged
She said “I’ll come down to you straight away but let me first get changed”
She then arrived in reception a northern bred young gall
Clutching a copy of her C.v. looking very professional
The interview started with chit chat she had a pleasant manner
She explained shed worked for many years in ARM plastics as a planner
She told me about her home life, her dogs and with a grin
Confessed to me her undying love for some geezer she called Glyn
We seemed to get along quite well
She left me in a trance
So much so she convinced me to give her a Cosi chance
I discussed it with Mark Simmons he said he liked her too
And she started as a Co-ordinator in September 2002
Within a small amount of time she really found her feet
And knew which temps where nice to her and which ones she had to beat
She fitted in extremely well and really did surprise us
At how she interacted with Mangers and Supervisors
The temps there up at Cosi where from all walks of like
Some were very pleasant but there are some who cause you strife
Some were hardened drinkers, some members of choirs
One temp became Tish’s best friend his name was Johnny Squires
As time went by Cosi became like Tish’s second home
Fragrance, Powders and perfumes the departments she would roam
No matter if it was night or day, you could safely bet
That Tish would be lurking somewhere in White coat and her Hairnet
Nery’s job changed somewhat, her and Cosi they joined forces
She became an important member working in Human Resources
And once Nerys had been confirmed I really couldn’t wait ter
Congratulate Tish on her appointment as No1 Co-ordinator
But oh Ladies and Gentleman, Don’t be taken in
I have discovered a different person behind that lovely grin
And if you have forgotten, I will make you all remember
Let me take you back to a party held in bridgend yes last december
Held on the 12th of December, Location Zia Nina
Tish was getting Rather drunk on the white wine you should have seen her
She ignored all of the warning signs, The worries she would drop
Tish was getting wasted and she wasn’t gonna stop
A lovely meal was had by all but Tish’s speech was slurred
And when we arrived at the Weighbridge her vision was totally blurred
She knew she had too much to drink but doesn’t miss a trick
Ands after another round of drinks she knew she might be sick
Now within the office theres a lovely bloke his name is Colin Campbell
He loves fresh air the great outdoors and often goes for a ramble
His wife Nicky said be Home by twelve and he wasn’t gonna test her
And she arrived in Bridgend at twelve o clock driving her brand new fiesta
Colin was concerned for Tish and upon closer inspection
Decided he would give her a lift as they lived in the same direction
The Pontycymmer road is tricky, the car did twists and turns
And the wine, steak, chips and beer within her belly slowly churned
She tried to take her mind of it and cast her thoughts elsewhere
She worried about making a mess in the car that wasn’t fair
She though Mondays induction I really must do the rota
But it was no good and the christmas pud was spewed up in Campbell motor
Of course im only joking, Tish really is a dream
That’s why she has been offered a job within the HR team
And although she loves working for us the people and tradition
Shes going to work for Cosi, try her hand in her new position
I think its fair to say that tish you will be sorely missed
No more christmas parties getting absolutely P------
And even though it kills me and I wanted to say no
We have to accept the time has come to let our darling go
So Tish we bid you farewell, I hope you’ve enjoyed your time
Im sorry if ive embarrassed you with the words within this rhyme
I know I speak for everyone when I say we all feel sad
Because you really have been the best co-ordinator weve ever had.
The End
“ODE TO ALY”
When 1963 arrived
It went by with a whirl
And in Port Talbot there were celebrations
About the birth of a little girl
Her beaming smile and lovely face
Left the parents feeling great
And they couldn’t wait to get the bambino back
To their house on Sandfields Estate
She grew up here in recession times
With spare cash getting rare
But it was of no concern to her Mam and Dad
They had a daughter and didn’t care
But Alison was clever
And thought of a plan to fill her purse
And embarked upon a training course
To become a professional nurse
The hospital and theatre
Was where she plied her trade
And fought off all the randy old blokes
Who were desperate to get laid
Her friends all took a different route
And were in restaurants polishing glasses
But Alyson was content with life
And wiping old men’s arses
But nursing became monotonous
And soon our friend got bored
Of the smell of disinfectant
And the pain within her ward
She decided that the time had come
To ditch her theatre gown
And move into a job
Where all temps will let you down
Recruitment called and she arrived
All happy, full of glee
And ended up in Adecco
At Walkers in Swansea
Rising at the crack of dawn
And putting temps to work with force
And becoming quite familiar
With the smell of Worcester Sauce
But Alysons a flighty type
And her work there became sour
And she found she could no longer
Persuade her temps to work for £3 per hour
And driving home from work one day
She saw a shooting star
And like the Wise Men of Bethlehem
It guided her to JGR
And now she’s in her second stint
With Walkers in the past
And laughing at her former boss
Who said she wouldn’t last
And now she giggles to herself
At those temps she wanted to kill
And thanks her lucky stars
That now she works with Fiona, Julie & Jill
It’s those who instigated this rhyme
On this very special day
They wanted to make it very nice
But couldn ‘t think of a good way
So they hope that this is memorable
And JGR and Jentec will agree
That publicly in this restaurant we say ………..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NOW YOUR 40!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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